Going through old racing photos, seeing the joy it brought me gave me that excitement I would get on race day which made me feel so alive. I realised there is no reason for me not to have that again, nothing has been stopping me. No matter how crazy my life has been in the past, I always found a way. Solution...start racing again. I have found myself slipping into the racing nerd I once was as I started doing research on an upcoming course I plan to race and how I can get the most out of my training over the upcoming months. It feels good to feel that spark again. Being competitive has been a part of my life since I was a kid, so not having competed since I moved here has been harder on me than I realised.
I don't know how competitive I will be, but am looking forward to however this unfolds. One thing I have learned over the years is that you have your great seasons, your okay and bad ones. But through each and every year I have raced, good and bad, I have enjoyed it all and learned from it. Back in the saddle, onto the run, smelling of chlorine when you sweat, the hangriness you get when without food for more than three hours and waking up with the excitement of what's to come out of my training today...how I cannot wait! I like this feeling. I love this feeling. I haven't felt this way in a very long time.
There is a lot to say about moving on. But if you lost something you once had, it is also important to take the time to look at what was lost: Ask if it made you happy or not. Ask if you brought it back to your life would it improve the quality of your life. If those are 'yes', does anything need to be done differently to make it even better.
For me - Yes, Yes, and Race Less, Love More.
Dumping all the fuel on at once will give you a big flame, but it won't last long. I have started my fire, now I just need to find my fire tender to help me keep my balance. So I tip my glass...actually my coffee mug, and cheers to the year to come of reigniting my fire, living my passion to the one thing which has always made me feel alive (even on a bad day) RACING.
Are good things from our past ever really lost, or are we just too afraid to go looking for them and bringing them back to life? Food for thought...and the soul.