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“This is my last; never again,” these were the words I had during a brief moment of sanity in June…eight hours later I signed up for another one; clearly I had regained my loss of sanity.  I remember being eight years old and flipping through the channels on a Sunday afternoon and coming across NBC or ABC and seeing the Gatorade Ironman. Watching in amazement I said, “Daddy what is this?” He didn’t know, living in a small town in the mid-west we had never seen or heard of such a thing. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen anyone do. Sitting there with tears in my eyes; as a kid I didn’t know why it brought tears to me, I wasn’t a crier, but watching the race that day gave me a feeling I had never experienced before. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to try one of those races…whatever is was.  It took about 10 years to pass before the sport of triathlon to reached Indiana and I learned what an Ironman was. By this time I had graduated from high school and having been an athlete throughout my childhood and adolescence (a gymnast, sprinter and diver who rode her bike to town throughout the summer), I signed up for a race and thought this would be a piece of cake. I couldn’t have been more wrong…doing a sprint triathlon was the toughest thing I had ever done! Running 3.1 miles is a lot different from running a 400 meter dash and swimming 800 meters is even more different from swimming to the side of the pool after completing a dive. I was more amazed in having survived the sprint triathlon than what I was that day I had watched those athletes completing the Ironman on TV. I was 19 and knew nothing; I did my one triathlon and got on with my life. Seven years went by before I figured out that what I missed more than anything in my life was the competition I had loved as a kid. I really enjoyed the training, the races and meets, the challenges and the way I pushed myself. It was a part of who I was and the seven years I went without it were the seven years of my life where I felt most lost and undirected. As I soon started to realize that thirty would be around the corner quicker than I had hoped for, I decided I wanted to be in the best shape of my life and knew this would be a huge challenge as I would reflect of my late teens of what my body was capable of doing. There was a girlfriend of mine who mentioned she wanted to do the Chicago Triathlon but didn’t want to do it herself; so I told her I would buy a bike and do it with her. I bought a bike, running shoes, goggles and every book there was on training for your first triathlon. It took me about two weeks before I could fully complete 1 mile without walking and that single mile took me 12 minutes to complete. How was I going to make it through? But there was something in me that kept me going…maybe the fear of turning thirty (in 3 years) and looking thirty. Who knows, but whatever it was I kept on training. First race was difficult; it was 104 degrees that day, but I had fun…more than fun, I felt something inside of me that I hadn’t felt in year. A light turned on inside of me.  That year I did a race in July, August, September and November. Suddenly I thought maybe if I had a coach I could be good at this, so I hired one. I soon started to remember that day as a kid sitting in my living room watching the Gatorade Ironman and actually started to believe maybe I could do one of those. March of the next year I did my first Half Ironman in Oceanside, CA…fired my coach, cursed her out for ever talking me into a race like that. I cried before the race, during the swim, on the bike and in the run. At the end of the race I re-hired her, but told her, “Never Again!” Three months later I signed up for my next Half. A couple years went by racing all distances up to the Half Ironman and with my 30th birthday in front of me I couldn’t think of a better gift to give myself but to fulfil that little girl’s dream of doing One herself. So I thought to myself, “if I were only to do one and only one, where would I want that to be?” Ironman South Africa it is; Happy Birthday to Me! Why did I pick a “fall race” in the southern hemisphere while living in Chicago?! I became one with my trainer; riding indoors…staring at the black line in the bottom of the pool…listening the rhythmic hum of the treadmill. Training was rough and the race was tough, what was I thinking? It was everything I had ever dreamed of and more! My body had never experienced so much pain. I had never spent so much time with myself. There is nothing that can ever compare to coming across the finish line and hearing, “Kimberly Barnhart, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN”, it was amazing, but Never Again!
It took one whole year before I starting thinking about doing another one. At this point I was starting to get comfortable with doing Half IM, in fact one of my wedding gifts that came from my coach was an entry into my favourite Half Ironman; Oceanside, that’s right, the one I cried through my first time and now I have done it three times! But where in the world would I go next? Lake Placid sounded good; good enough to plaster myself to the computer the day registration opened and break into a nervous sweat and become overwhelmed with anxiety in hopes I get in before registration is filled. 11:00 a.m. registration opened, 11:10 a.m. I was confirmed, 11:20 a.m. registration closed and 3000 people where signed up. What had I done, didn’t I say I would never again done another one of these? I like to call these “never again’s” moments of sanity, and these days I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing, but they are happening less and less. Before I had even raced Lake Placid (same day of my never again moment back in June) I had signed up for another, which leads me to where I am today; one week after Ironman Lake Placid 2010, taking a brief recovery before I start my next endeavour; training for Ironman Lanzarote.
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The anticipation is building, but you will have to wait until September for the final result. Training for an Ironman to me, is as close to pregnancy as I will ever get.
Right now it is pure excitement; you are now committed to another Full Distance Triathlon (3.8km swim/180km cycle/26.2km run) – and all you feel is a nervous excitement. What you don’t think when you have your brilliant moment “I want to do another Endurance Race of the sort” is that over the next nine months your body physically and mentally goes through changes; you will eat more, your body will ache, feet will hurt, and you will drive your spouse crazy. No book ever written can really tell you what it is like; you never really know until you become an Ironman yourself. 12 months out: You decide it is a good idea to go through with it and commit. And the prep phase is so much fun; the course research, the planning. The first phase of nervous excitement hits. 9 months out: Let the real training begin. The first couple weeks is just getting into a regimen, your body feels a little off, but you soon learn to live with the change in your lifestyle about 2 to 3 months into the process. 6 months out: You are either loving or hating the experience, but either way, you start go a little workout crazy. 3 months out: You gradually become more and more irritable, everything in your body hurts. All you can think about is the big day that awaits you. At this point, it cannot come soon enough. 3 weeks out: You hit the Taper and have to go easy on your body as you prep for the day you have to deliver. This is when you mentally start to panic, “What the hell I have done, I’m not ready for this!!!” You would do just about anything at this point to push along the process faster to the final day, but in reality you have no control. 1 day out: Excitement, nervousness, fear, anger, happiness, sadness, excitement…it’s a vicious cycle, but you will feel it all, and some of those feeling you have no clue why you are feeling them. Game Day: You cry, you smile, you love, you hate…there are ups and downs and every emotion you feel, every Nine months from now I will go through 11 hours of hard labor and in the end, in the final push across the finish line I forget about all I went through to get to this point, I won’t care about how I look or what’s going on around me..it’s all focus on one thing; for it all to be over and reap my reward. Depending on the experience, I might think never again or have such a pleasant time the I want to do it all over again and want to do Another. As my house starts to collect Finisher Medals; who know how many I do or where they will be from; but what I do know is that each one has a special place in my heart. Each race had to be treated and nurtured differently. For those mothers who think I am crazy for comparing this to childbirth and have never done an Ironman; sign up for one and see. And for those who have gone through both; think about it…mmm. (just remember I compared it to the giving birth process, not actually raising kids) Picture Perfect Have you ever been asked, “Did you do everything you possibly could to make your race perfect?” Me; most times my answer has been no, but this time was different.  Mirror Lake, Lake Placid, NY The training itself wasn’t picture perfect, because I have a tendency to put my client’s training needs before myself, I don’t train at the intensities my body is capable of handling. It’s certainly not a complaint; I love my job more than anything in the world and I get just as much joy in seeing them succeed with their racing as what I do with mine. But I certainly could do better with my own training. Arriving at Lake Placid is not the easiest; there are no really close airports, so your drive is one and a half to two hours getting in. The weather is very unpredictable where it is pouring one minute and 60 degrees outside and five minutes later sunny and 75. One thing I have learned with racing is that if it rains on race day; everyone gets to race in the rain. If it is windy; everyone gets to race in windy conditions. Two of the two Ironman races I have done it has been rainy and windy. So it is what it is and you learn to suck it up and deal with it. Arriving on Wednesday before the race with lost luggage left us with not getting to get anything done; so the first day was a scratch. Thursday I got up and went for a drive around the entire course, both run and bike. The nice thing about this particular course is that it is two laps of everything, so you only have to go over half the distance of the race.  Bike course at mile 13 / 69 After taking a drive around the course, then headed off to race registration where it’s all the same; get number, show ID, weigh in, pick-up numbers and bag… Then went and picked up my bike from Bike Transport (which, if you have never done this can be nice if you don’t want to mess with your bike right after the race or uncomfortable with bike dis/assembly). I then had to drop my bike off at the local shop to be fixed…that’s right. A problem that couldn’t be fixed before my bike got sent out had to be done there. Surprisingly, as stressed out as I could have been over it, it didn’t even phase me. Friday I got to swim the course; I put on my H2O Audio Headphones (best thing EVER), zoned out and had an amazing swim in Mirror Lake. The water was glassy and clean, from the center of the lake you get a spectacular panoramic view of Lake Placid unlike no other. Later on I hopped on my bike and practiced the big descent at the beginning of the ride portion a couple times and ran two of the big hills on the run course. Saturday I will have to admit I got a little carried away and went for what started out to be an easy short run and ended up running an 8 mile run at an 8:00 pace. I had gone off into my own little world and came to 4 miles away from my hotel. Later in the morning I got on my bike and rode down the big 12 mile climb at the end of the bike course and turned back to ride up it. So my day before the race workout ended up being an 8 mile run and 25 mile bike. It was more than I had planned, but I didn’t over-stress that I had done too much. I hadn’t drank for almost three months and sitting there a lunch with my friend and husband I out of the blue decided I would have a beer, so I had one…and another. It really wasn’t necessary to have the second especially after getting more than a buzz after literally three sips. This was Friday and I slept like a baby that night. Saturday afternoon I decided to have anther, but this time I didn’t go overboard; I only had one. Night before the race I slept so well.  Waking up the morning of my Ironman race was very uneventful. Ate breakfast; oatmeal and had 16 ounces of water with powered electrolytes, then headed to the race site, which we had to walk a mile since we were located on the race course and roads were closed off until midnight. I got everything dropped off and walked to the lake, which is another quarter mile from the transition area. Still I felt calm. When I know it’s going to be a long day, I surrender to the fact that at 7 a.m. I will be working out and so at noon, and 3 p.m. and still even at 6 in the evening. It’s just a long day. This year I have started something new with my warm-ups before a race; I actually go for a swim. So this is what I did and swam for about ten to fifteen minutes nice and easy. Then the race was about to begin. Five minutes before the start I ran into my coach in a sea of 2700 people, we stuck by each others side as if it were to last the entire 2.4 miles…right. The gun goes off! The first 400 meters really wasn’t so bad and then a guy (knowing this from the red swim cap) grabbed my shoulder and pulled me under. As I am underwater I look above me to see bodies all around and as I surface I made the biggest mistake ever; I looked behind me. I totally FREAKED OUT! They are all about to take me down, it was a sea of red swim caps. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t put my face in the water, I couldn’t breast stroke, I couldn’t do anything to move forward! All I could do was yell for my coach who had long left my side at this point and I wanted to rip my wetsuit off because I was getting so hot I couldn’t stand it. Panic! I told myself to get calm, waited for what seemed like eternity and found an open pocket of water and took it. I swam in that pocket for the rest of the race and no one came close to me, it was unbelievable! First lap took me 39 minutes to complete. At this point I was actually feeling a little sea sick, but it happens with me in the water, but after I found my rhythm and got comfortable, the second lap took 34 minutes. The swim was over in 1:13:33 and I was onto my bike.  As soon as I got onto my bike this was the first time that I thought maybe the 12 mile climb I did yesterday should have been done on Friday instead. But that feeling only lasted for a very brief moment because next thing I know I was already 15 miles into the ride. The descent you do about 5 miles into the ride is amazing. And for those who aren’t afraid to go fast; this is the time to gain time. Luckily for me I love to see how fast I can really push it down the hill, but on the other hand living in Chicago I don’t get as much hill practice as I would like to do so the climb up on the other side of the course was not going to be my strong point. 20 miles into the bike I was averaging 24.4 mph. Then the rolling hills started, and I guess it wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t into the wind and you felt your legs working down the hills too. There was a sign at the beginning of the rollers that said, “make the rollers your bitch”, and I can’t tell you how much I looked forward to seeing that sign on the next lap…the little things that entertains you through a race like this. After you pass through the rollers you get one little descent that takes you to the very bottom of the valley right by White Face Mountain; it is where you see the 100 mile marker and then there is the 12 mile climb out of the valley and back into Lake Placid. The first lap it isn’t so bad, but the second round that final climb was the longest 12 miles I have ever ridden, 50 minutes to get through 12 miles. 6 hours and 6 minutes later the ride was over and I was quickly onto the run. Surprisingly as I started my run my legs felt great. The first 5k I found it very difficult to run slower than an 8:00 pace. My body wanted to go fast but my mind was going slow down; but the fear of slowing down and feeling my body shut down if I did won the battle, so I continued with the pace. Gradually as the miles went on the legs started to slow on their own. The first 13.1 miles were done in around 1:50 and I was feeling great. At this point in the race everything had felt great. Yes, there were a couple obstacles I had to overcome in the swim, but all in all this had been a pretty picture perfect race. My nutrition was spot on and stomach was feeling great. As I passed the mile 14 marker I remember thinking, “Where did the day go?” At that moment it felt like a blur; the months of training for the hours of racing and I couldn’t remember anything about it. Is this what it’s like to be in the zone? My legs never really hurt, nor did my lungs. I will admit that around the last 8 miles I started to feel tired, sleepy tired. Up to mile 22 I stuck to the nutrition plan of my run of water and oranges.  Then I saw the food table; I took the longest mile of my race here at 12:45 – stopped and had a schmorgasboard. I was out of control! I had a cup of pretzels (I don’t even like pretzels), an oatmeal cookie, a branch of grapes, half an orange; shoved it all in my mouth and had some water with it, just enough to make a thick paste I couldn’t even swallow. “Get it under control Kimberly!” That is was actually came out of my mouth, not just thinking it. It did take good though, but I knew that the next 4 miles could be the longest 4 miles I had ever run if I didn’t stick to the plan. As I made my way back into town and into the last 2 miles I found that my energy was picking up along with my legs. I had a screen print of an Iron Maiden album cover put on my racing top and wore it through the race and it was the most brilliant idea ever. Throughout the entire run all I hear was “go Iron Maiden”, and people yelling and cheering me on, giving high fives, it made me easily recognisable. It really helped get me through the race. (My husband hated the shirt and didn’t find it appropriate given that I was married and not a maiden, however a maiden is also a female race horse who has never won a race…I have never won an Ironman so I loved it and found it perfect for me.) The last two miles I continued to pick up my pace; naturally being a shorter distance athlete I always find I have a kick left in the end. 1 mile left, and then 800 meters…as I entered the Olympic Speed Skating Arena and made my lap around the track I continued to pick up speed. On the straight away I started to come up on a girl and about passed her, but decided to back off and give her that moment of glory as she crossed the finish line. I did and then she stopped – so I didn’t get to have mine, and she was in my age group and beat me by 1 second. To top it off; the announcer didn’t even say, “Kimberly Shah, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!” It was such a disappointment. I was more disappointed about the announcer than anything else in the race. 12 hours is what I wanted to break and I thought is was going to be work to make that happen. But finishing in 11:46:21 was actually a lot easier than what I expected. Ironman easy? – it was challenging but not as hard as I thought it to be. Maybe I could do one of these and train hard for it and race it hard. Never once in the race did I think why, this sucks or the infamous never again. In fact, it could not have gone more Picture Perfect (up until the last few seconds) and as the miles went on, the more excited I became for the next one, yes… The Next One.  As we made our way to the beach past drummers and dancers The Test As if training for your first Ironman isn’t stressful enough; try traveling half way around the world with your future in-laws without your fiancé to go fulfil your childhood dream…this isn’t the way I had pictured it would be. This wasn’t my first international race if you count 70.3 Cancun, but definitely the furthest place I had ever traveled.  They weren’t athletic, they had never seen a triathlon before nor did they really know what it entailed. But my fiancé insisted that I not go alone and thought it would be a perfect time for us to get to spend time with one another. It is not the easiest traveling to races with people who don’t get it. My in-laws were stressed out, stressing me out, it was a bit of a mess; I didn’t get to do proper race preps, go over the course or anything I would normally do. I got in an argument with my future father-in-law over my bike; he thinking it needed to be loaded in the car one way and me the other. (One thing you don’t do is try to touch my bike and tell me what to do with it…he didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day.) It just wasn’t how I had pictured it to be. The race was tough; tired and jet lagged, and training indoors through the winter didn’t help. The swim was on Hobie Beach; swimming out to Shark Point Pier for two laps. The start was off the beach; I remember looking out into the Indian Ocean and watching the sun come up over the horizon while hearing the African drums in the background which sounded like my death march and thinking to myself, “this is going to be a long day.” In the first 200 meters I got punched in the mouth and my lip started to bleed and the burning sensation from the salt water didn’t make it feel any better for the next 1:15 I was in the water.  My first outdoor bike ride of the year was the day of my race. Now there is good and bad to that; it felt liberating, so it went by fast psychologically, but physically it was harder. The ride was a 3 loop course with an immediate 10k climb at the start. The reward though is an incredible descent that zigzags to the oceanfront and you ride along the waterfront for about 10 miles and back to the beginning and repeat. The run was 3 loops as well; with people lined up for most of the course. People come out and set up grills and party all afternoon, cheering on all the athletes. It was a lot of fun. The food on the course – I have never seen anything like it in the U.S., sandwiches, potatoes, cookies, fruit, it was quite a spread. The water is served in these little plastic pouches that you can shove down your shirt and store for later. I had these in Mexico as well and have always wondered why I haven’t seen this in the U.S.  It was a fun race, but my downfall was using Gu…the worst G.I. issues ever, and instead of enjoying each minute and embracing the running portion of the race, I was looking forward to the next port-o-pot which were few and far between. But as I came to the end of the race and through the shoot I got to hear those words…”Kimberly Barnhart, You Are an Ironman!” I cried all the way down the shoot, I had done it. It over; my body hurt from head to toe, I couldn’t hardly walk and then my mother-in-law to be told me she was sleeping with me that night…WHAT? When we got to our cottage house she helped get into the shower, she helped me get dressed, rubbed my feet and slept with me. She helped me out of be when I needed to go to the bathroom, she was there to put aloe on my African sunburn (that left a mark for a year and a half); she was there for everything, and I could not have been happier she had come.  Going to Africa for my first Ironman with my future in-laws was not how I had pictured it would be, but it ended up being one of the best trips of my life. The race was great, I had a good time. If it had been my one and only, I did it in a really cool place. I did it just to finish and got to do something amazing with my body that very few people in the world have done. But I got so much more out of traveling with my future family; it was a very unique bonding experience not many people get to have. We joked this would be the test and if we made it back to the States and still liked each other; my fiancé and I would set a date to get married. Within five minutes of being back home my mother-in-law told her son that if we didn’t set a date by the weekend, she would. If you really want to get to know the person you are about to marry; travel half way around the world with their parents, without them…and make it a three weeks trip. That was a test far greater than the test of strength and endurance of an Ironman.
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December 2023
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