TRANSFORMED

WOW, I am taken back by how many amazing messages I have already gotten about me getting back in the saddle to start writing again. I wasn't completely sure where this was going to lead. But after five days, the vision has become very clear. 

Those who knew me back in the US, I am not the same person I was. I am changed. When I first moved to India, living in Ahmedabad, I knew it was making me a better person. I liked the transformation I was taking for myself. Then I moved to Mumbai and with that came divorce; I had moved to a place where I was actually told to 'stick to my own kind'.  I had never in my life experience so many people who were mean and unpleasant to me without ever meeting me or spending five minutes talking to me since I had been in high school. To be honest, I had never in my life experience so many people who treated other people so badly for no reason at all.  This city just about destroyed me. 

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I know it takes settling in to any city, and I am. (I don't want to hear "You just haven't met the right people.") Slowly but surely I am making surface friends, I haven't found the kindred friend you can bare your soul to.  I'm willing to wait for the perfect one...that needs to happen organically.  Maybe it is a challenge for me to make friends because I have changed so much. The things I look for in people I wish to get close to are being redefined by who the new me is.  But there is one problem...

I don't like the new me. I don't like who I have become since moving here. The person I have become since living here is not a person I would want to sit in a room and have afternoon tea with. I don't want to go back to the US to see family and friends because I don't like who I am. 

So what are you going to do about it?

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After reading a comment and talking to a friend of mine about what the past seven months of my life was like, I realized something important; by sharing this TRANSFORMATION I am going through I am not only helping myself become the person I want, but also giving to others going through the same thing.  As I said in The Giving Tree, was I am ready to GIVE again.  

What I am learning is getting to the process is the hardest. Once you are there...really TRULY to a place you want to heal, every day becomes more exciting than the previous. To be excited...that is the Kimberly I know.  That is the Kimberly everyone back in the US knows.  I thought she had died, but instead, she was just buried and tomorrow she will be a little more uncovered.

Embrace and NJOY the process and the growth will come ten fold.